Infantilism And Spirituality
My relationship with God is important to me, and it is necessary for me to reconcile anything I do with that relationship. This essay is about how I reconcile my adult-baby desires and activities with what I believe God wants for me.
Although I do not accept every word in the Christian Bible as the direct word of God (but that's another essay), it is still important to me. Even those who pick through the Bible looking for sins to accuse their neighbors of, however, would agree that there is nothing in the Bible specifically about infantilism or adult babies, either for or against. This is not surprising; there isn't much written anywhere about infantilism or adult babies.
Masturbation is sometimes involved in my infantilism activities, though; it could be argued (both for and against) that all my adult-baby activities are a form of masturbation. And masturbation is clearly proscribed in the Old Testament. So, however, are many other things that we never think twice about, such as wearing clothes made of two different types of fabric. I look upon the Old Testament regulations in the books of Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy and so forth as rules and regulations imposed by a God who didn't think the people were ready to understand the spirit of the law. I think that if the anti-masturbation rule were to be restated more in line with the spirit behind it, it would go something like, "The Hebrews must increase in number in order to become a great nation, so have intercourse with your wife rather than masturbating," or "Masturbating makes your wife feel inadequate, so don't hurt her this way." But then this is all speculation from a modern perspective. I don't believe that Christians are intended to follow the Old Testament laws per se, and that's that.
As I see it, what Christians are intended to do is follow the teachings of Christ; if they follow anything else, they're not Christians, strictly speaking. In all the Bible, Christ says nothing at all about sexuality; the closest He gets is when He talks about whether there's marriage in the Kingdom of God. I'm sure there are people out there who would love it if Christ had said something about homosexuality being a sin, or at least about heterosexuality being normal, but He says nothing of the kind. And if something appears in the Epistles, it is only the opinion of an early Christian leader, not the word of God. It seems that before Jesus' blood had dried, each of the apostles started putting his own spin on Jesus' teachings. I consider myself a Christian, and not a Hebrew or a Paulist.
Even if the Gospels did report that Jesus had said something about sexuality, it would still be suspect. The entire Bible has been edited many times over the years, and many decisions have been made about what to put in and what to leave out. At one time there were many versions of each of the books of the Bible, each slightly different from all the rest, and human beings decided which text to include from which versions. Evidence of this process can be seen when the same story is told in different words, which occurs multiple times in both Testaments. My rule of thumb is this — suspect the Gospels, and do not trust the rest of the Bible.
What I Believe
So what do I trust? Jesus made it pretty clear when He gave us His commandments (Matthew 22:37-40):
- Love God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind
- Love your neighbor as yourself (implicit in this one is that you should love yourself too)
If I throw away all the dross, this remains: Jesus wants me to love God, my fellow beings, and myself. A more beautiful message cannot be imagined. But what, concretely speaking, does this mean that Jesus wants me to do? I believe that He wants me to do what I want, as long as I consider the needs of God, others, and myself. That is, don't hurt God, others, or myself.
How does one hurt God? It's hard to hurt an omnipotent being, but I think one hurts God by hurting one's relationship with God. Basically, I shouldn't do anything that damages that relationship. As long as I keep thinking about these things, I consider myself to be maintaining that relationship.
How does one hurt others? Clearly there are many ways, both physically and emotionally. I shouldn't litter, for example, because littering makes the world ugly for myself and others. (Perhaps I shouldn't use disposable diapers, because some say that they're bad for the environment. Others say that cloth diapers are bad for the environment too. But doesn't just existing put a strain on the Earth's support system that we all rely on? I'm still wondering about that one.) I must eat meat, because humans are omnivores and are meant to eat meat, but I should not be wasteful of the resources that animals died to provide. I shouldn't indulge in infantilism and ignore my wife, because that would hurt her feelings.
How does one hurt oneself? Well, obviously I shouldn't go cutting off my fingers, but there's no reason I'd want to. But I can hurt myself by doing things that interfere with my goals in life. That means I have to know my goals in life. I must be careful about wearing diapers to work, which I do occasionally — it's unlikely that discovery would lead to my losing my job, but I shouldn't take chances. I must be careful not to get interested in infantilism to the exclusion of all else. But I don't see how simply putting on and using diapers, wearing baby clothes, or using bibs, bottles, pacifiers and other baby items hurts me, others, or my relationship with God.
God made me this way, and that means that God intended for me to be a cute little baby girl inside, and sometimes that baby girl peeks out. What could be wrong with that?