In case you want to play with me

This page is currently under major revision. It's been more than ten years since I originally wrote the first version of it, and people change in that time.

First of all, what am I looking for? Of course I'm looking for a Mommy or other adult caregiver; what adult baby isn't? But aside from that, my baby girl self is really lonely and wishes there were other (adult) babies or littles to play with, just playing with toys, or playing little kids' games, or watching kids' cartoons, or sweet things like that.

Some basic stuff

First, I'll repeat some of the information from my main page. In real life (a faraway land that you may have read about in story books) my name is Tom Lee. I'm 40 years old and male, though obviously I do things that don't match either of those. I live in Bloomington, Indiana.

As I mentioned, an adult caregiver is one role I wish I could find someone to fulfill. I wish I had a Mommy, Auntie, Nanny, nurse, babysitter, etc., or, since my baby play is nonsexual, a Daddy, Uncle, male nurse, babysitter, etc. are possibilities too if I'm comfortable with the person. I have no problems with CDs, TVs, or TSes; it's all about the person. But of course it takes a while for a relationship to form and to grow enough that I feel comfortable enough with you to want to do this. That's one of the drawbacks of a lifestyle like mine, unfortunately.

I also wish I could find friends to play with in an innocent, childlike way. I can understand if it takes a long time of talking online before you feel comfortable with doing this with anybody else; it's going to take me a while to feel comfortable with you too. It doesn't seem fair sometimes that it's so hard to find people who want to do things that we all used to do every day when we were kids, does it?

My wife

I'm married, and although my wife knows all about the fact that I like diapers and baby things, she doesn't participate, so we've agreed that I'm free to do "baby things" with anybody I want, as long as we're both OK with the activities and the person.

My wife is very important in this picture; I think you should know that right off. She's into DS (which in her case means she wants a servant or slave) and SM (which in her case means she likes to inflict pain, but only with consent). I don't like that kind of play myself, but then she doesn't like infantilism, so that's why we've come to the agreement we have: I can play baby with anybody, and she can do DS and SM with anybody.

However, she insists that I meet everyone she plays with, and I think she should meet anyone I play with. I don't think this is too much to ask; after all, my wife is almost as intimately involved in my life as I am. She won't necessarily even be around for the actual play scenes, but we should probably get together in a "normal" sort of way in some neutral place, such as a restaurant, just to get to know one another before play begins. If the play were being done over the net, I'd probably just tell her about you and give her your contact information (email, IM, etc.) so she could ask you questions if she wanted.

As an answer to a frequently asked question, no, my wife does not "switch." She never takes the submissive role, does not like to receive pain and would definitly not enjoy being diapered. To suggest such after being told otherwise would be to earn her ill will. Consider yourself told otherwise.

Answering another frequently-asked question, yes, we have tried using diapers and infantilism in BDSM scenes. It just doesn't work well. Treating me like a baby, or even just diapering me, is just plain upsetting to her and destroys her enjoyment of the scene.

My role

I'm a baby. That is, although I'm an adult, I'm a baby in all the situations I'm talking about on this page. What exactly that means might vary from one AB to another, so I'll explain what that means to me.

I'm in diapers. I wear diapers all the time, usually cloth diapers, and wet them. Sometimes I wake up in the morning in wet diapers, and sometimes in the daytime I discover that I'm wetting my diapers. That's probably a sign that I shouldn't go without diapers for very long. I don't usually mess my diapers, though. When I do, it's in disposables, unless it's a real accident, because it is nasty to clean that kind of mess out of cloth diapers. Anybody who wants to be my adult caregiver is free to decide whether I will be messing my diapers or not, because they're the one who's going to be changing me. But as things are in my daily life, I use the potty for that.
I suck my thumb or pacifier. I do this most of the time when I'm alone or among only people who know I'm an AB. It's soothing and comforting.
I'm a baby 24/7. Whether I'm actually playing the part depends on whether it's appropriate for the situation and whether there are people around who don't know I'm an AB. But I always have a pacifier and a fresh diaper somewhere close by, even if it isn't obvious. I can click entirely into grownup mode in grownup situations, but when things calm down again I'm going to want to relax back into littlespace again.

Not my role

I want to keep this page mostly positive, because I want my baby experience to feel beautiful and magical, but in order to avoid misunderstandings I have to talk about some negatives. So, as the negative header above suggests, these are things I do not want in my baby life. Unfortunately we live in a world where I can't assume that everybody will understand these things without my saying something.

Although I state this numerous times elsewhere on my website, I say it again here: I do not want any of this to have anything to do with actual children in any way. I am not interested in viewing child porn and do not look upon children as sexual objects. I view children and childhood as special and magical, to be treasured, protected, loved, and carefully guarded, not despoiled and destroyed. I'm really sorry that this is not obvious and has to be said, but the world we live in is sometimes a sad place where some people don't get help until it's too late.
I don't want sex. I don't really see sex as part of the baby role. So, if your idea of adult baby play involves the baby sucking on your own personal pacifier, then you shouldn't play with me. I have absolutely no desire to suck cock, and sucking pussy is not something I want to do when in baby role. Breasts are another matter -- babies do that.
I don't get off on body wastes in general. I'm not interested in pee and poop being anywhere other than in diapers, and I'm not interested in anybody else's pee or poop. Just not my thing.
Although one of my fantasies is being treated as a baby 24/7 including public exposure, I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize my career or my wife's. I don't mind playing games where I'm going to be taken out in public, as long as it doesn't happen in the end, happens only in a covert way, or happens only in make-believe. Also, I can imagine being taken out in public to someplace where nobody would know me. (Obviously you'd have to find out what cities my friends and relatives live in before doing this.) One warning, though: I have never done any obvious baby play in public, so I can't be certain.
I am not interested in changing diapers. I'm not in this to play the mommy or daddy role. I'm not going to assume that you would want to change my diapers, either -- after all, babies don't change each others' diapers. Relationships change, so it might not stay that way, but it's not good to hang all your hopes on that. If you're looking for somebody to change your diapers, you should probably not look to me, since I'm a baby.
We're on a budget, which means I can't just go out and buy anything I want. I hope it doesn't cramp your imagination, but play is just going to have to use the things I have already (see below).

There, I'm done going negative. I'm sorry I have to have anything negative on this page at all, but then it's not my fault; I didn't put the world into the sad shape it's in. I'm just trying to make a small positive space for myself within it, and hoping that I can share that space with understanding people.

Supplies, clothes and props I have

Here is a list of most of the baby stuff I have. It might help you plan.

Baby Basics

I usually have a supply of adult disposable diapers
Right now I have a small supply of disposable training pants
Around two dozen cloth diapers
Diaper pins -- plain white, plain pink, pink bunnies, pink duckies
Plastic panties -- mostly pink pull-ons, also plain (grayish) translucent pull-ons, nursery print pull-ons, nursery print snap-ons
One pair of locking plastic panties -- they're pink with a chain that runs through the waistband which can be locked to prevent removal
Onesies (like a one-piece T-shirt and underpants combination, with snaps in the crotch) -- white
Adult-size baby wipes

Other Baby Things

Pacifiers
Pacifier clips (consist of a decorated clip that attaches to clothes and a strap that connects to the pacifier, designed to keep the pacifier from falling to the floor and getting dirty) -- Baby Minnie Mouse, "My Girl"
Bottles -- plain white and transparent, pink and purple with cartoon characters
Sippy cups -- pink stainless steel with Avent spouts, one 12 ounce, one 27 ounce
Bibs -- pink adult-size wraparound bib with Disney characters, various toddler-size bibs
Diaper bag -- has several compartments and bottle pockets on the outside and inside, includes changing pad, plastic bag for wet diapers
Baby wrist "leash" -- an elastic strap that uses Velcro to fasten around baby's wrist and has a loop for the parent to hold

Baby Clothes

Blue footed blanket sleeper with sailboat applique on left breast (from DPF)
Pink footed sleeper of a lighter material (this has the sleeves slightly longer than usual and sewn shut, as well as the zipper in back with a tab that snaps over the top -- once I'm in this sleeper I'm not getting out without help, and with the mittens below put on my hands before the sleeper is put on, I can't do much at all without help)
Tan teddy bear sleeper -- very warm and fuzzy, but far too warm for summer use (from Privatina)
Pink and white frilly sunsuit (imagine baggy panties with big ruffles on the seat with a bib-overall front and overall-like straps going over the shoulders, with snaps in the crotch) (from DPF)
Pink corduroy overalls with snaps up the legs and in the crotch (from DPF)
Pink satin-like baby dress with empire waistline, short puffy sleeves, and lace around hem (from DPF)
Pink cotton print baby dress with empire waistline, short puffy sleeves and lacy white yoke at top (bought from someone I met at a party)
Yellow yarn baby bonnet (made myself)
Yellow thumbless mittens with padded palms and ribbons to tie around wrists (made myself)
White Posey restraint mitts; they are thickly padded and fasten around the wrists with Velcro (from a specialty supplier)
Lacy socks (some found in store; some specially made)
Blue nursery-print booties (from DPF)
Plastic-lined rhumba panties (plastic panties with a decorative outer layer consisting of thin fabric with lace across the seat) -- white with pink lace (from DPF), white with blue lace (unsure of source)
Pink ruffled panties (with lace around the leg openings and across the seat) (these aren't plastic-lined; they'd have to go over plain plastic panties) (from Lee's Mardi Gras)
Black shiny Mary Jane shoes (unfortunately with corrugated soles, but otherwise very authentic little-girl looking)

Back to real life

To return to reality, I'll repeat some more from my main page. I wear diapers all the time and use them for wetting, but usually not messing. It is very emotionally fulfilling to be a baby, but there is a sensual and even erotic pleasure from wearing and wetting my diapers and from being treated like a baby. It's not something that I think needs to lead to more "adult" sexual behavior, though; it's just a wonderful benefit.

We do have a car. Driving an hour and a half to Indianapolis or two hours to Cincinnatti or Louisville, for example, wouldn't be much of a problem. If you're not in range, we can still play by email or some such. (Not that playing by email would necessarily be dull -- I can imagine roleplaying some wonderful stuff, or even having to follow your instructions in real life and report back.)

Thank you for reading this far, and if you have any comments or perhaps would even like to play, please email me at .

This file was last modified on June 1, 2009.