Jury Duty

I've been called for jury duty. Again. This time it's over an hour away from home though -- it would be shorter, but there is rush hour traffic to consider.

But more than that, this is going to be challenging in terms of staying diapered all the time. I have been trying for two years now to live as if I were bladder incontinent, to put it in basic terms. It has been some time since I attempted to "hold it." I don't think my muscles have atrophied, but my habits might have changed, and I don't want them changing back to the potty-trained pattern, undoing all my progress. And that would probably start to happen if I attempted to "stay dry" and use the potty while at jury duty. But on the other hand, how am I going to do this? I suppose I could use the method I used for quite a while, with disposables/training panties/plastic panties, while I was at jury duty and then go back to the more economical cloth diapers for when I'm at home again. That is probably what I'm going to end up doing. I will probably have to get more disposables.

I just don't like things that disrupt my life this much. Silly jury duty. It begins during the week of February 7. I hope it doesn't last too long.

Another ABUniverse Order

ABUniverse is known for selling disposable diapers designed for adult babies and others who refuse to grow up, and now they offer a type of disposable diaper that has one tape per side, much like baby diapers. They call it the Super Dry Kids diaper.

One of the things I have said repeatedly over the years is that an adult disposable diaper doesn't look or feel babyish if all you do is enlarge the diaper in two dimensions and use the same size tapes. This is why I like thick disposable diapers -- I'm bigger than a little baby in three dimensions, not just two, so my diapers should be bigger in all three dimensions too, and that means thickness. And then there are the tapes. The reason why adult diapers have two or even three tapes per side while baby diapers only have one is that they use the same size tapes, rather than using tapes that are proportionally larger, so they have to compensate for the fact that they don't hold the diaper together right by using multiple anchor points. I have always wanted to try an adult disposable diaper that had a single large tape per side.

Well now I'm going to -- I ordered some of these new diapers from ABUniverse. The problem is that I ordered them on November 1, and today is November 16, and they're still not here. When I ordered, I got an email saying that they would ship no later than November 4. Now, I did select FedEx Ground to save shipping costs, but I don't think that's why the order wasn't picked up until November 10. Maybe there's a lot of demand for these; I don't know. Anyway, they were supposed to arrive today, but FedEx had some kind of delay, so I guess they'll finally be getting here tomorrow.

Another thing that ABUniverse has been doing is dressing up some Abena Abriform X-Plus disposables with some nursery-print taping panels. This is sort of overkill, because Abena uses those two-piece refastenable tapes, but these are my favorite type of disposables, so I'm trying out some of those too. Tomorrow should be an interesting day.

I hope everybody is doing well and staying happy!

Pacifiers R Them!

On the heels of a negative-ish post about ABUniverse, I'd like to mention a positive experience. I ordered a pacifier and clip from pacifiersrus.com and was very pleased. Not only did I get my order quickly (especially considering it was a custom order), it was everything I expected and more.

For those who don't already know, the German company MAPI makes NUK pacifier and bottle nipples, which are orthodontically designed to fit babies' mouths. Gerber has an exclusive contract with MAPI -- they're the only company that MAPI will sell directly to in the USA -- and they choose to sell only the newborn and baby size ("NUK 1" and "NUK 2") pacifiers. They used to sell the toddler size ("NUK 3"), but they seem to have stopped selling even that. This means that MAPI's other products usually go unseen in the USA. However, MAPI also makes the NUK MedicPro Saugtrainer, a line of pacifiers for adults, basically -- they're used for things like physical therapy exercises. They come in sizes small and large (the AB community has taken to calling these "NUK 4" and "NUK 5", although MAPI doesn't use this terminology).

The only problem with the NUK MedicPro is that, although the nipple is just about perfect in shape, size and material, the rest of the pacifier is frankly dull. The plastic parts (the shield, hub and ring) only come in white. This isn't too surprising, since it's meant to be a medical product; I'm surprised it doesn't come only in surgical green like Depends used to. But if you want other colors, or if you look with longing at the wide variety of patterns and even cartoon characters that appear on baby pacifiers in stores, you could be out of luck ... if it weren't for pacifiersrus.com.

Pacifiersrus.com purchases both NUK MedicPro pacifiers and baby pacifiers, and, through a process they call MonSep12, disassembles them, replacing the baby pacifier's nipple with a NUK MedicPro nipple. The result is a pacifier that looks like a baby's pacifier but has that wonderful NUK nipple -- sized for an adult's mouth. They have several "stock" pacifiers you can buy, or you can send in a baby pacifier that you've found (in a store, perhaps) and they'll replace its nipple with a NUK 4 or 5. You can even buy a plain NUK 4 or 5 pacifier from them, if that's what you want. They also sell related products, like clips to keep your pacifier from falling to the floor and getting dirty.

I ordered a Minnie Mouse pacifier (it's pink, and she's so cute) and a pacifier clip. They make the clips themselves; they consist of a loop of fabric cord with a cheap but functional clip on one end, bound with a grommet and threaded with beads. There are several options for the beads -- you can get just plain beads in one color, or multicolored beads, or "multi design" beads, which includes beads of different fun shapes. In any case, they will choose beads that match the color scheme of the pacifier you've ordered, meaning that any clip you order is going to be custom-made for you. And especially in the case of "multi design" beads, it looks like they have a great deal of fun, and I like the idea that fun went into my paci order. Here's a picture of my pacifier and clip.

As you can see, they've put several fun shapes of beads into the clip's cord -- butterflies, dolphins, ladybugs, diaper pins, and pacifiers of course! The beads are different shades of red and pink, and even a few black ones (Minnie has black ears and a black nose, after all). This particular pacifier doesn't have a ring-shaped handle, just sort of a knob that's decorated with Minnie's face, which makes it more difficult to attach the clip to it, but I managed by knotting the loop through one of the breathing holes.

The order came with the box and instructions from the NUK pacifier and was wrapped in a couple of basic adult-size disposable diapers for padding. And, if there was any doubt that they were AB/DL/TB friendly (which they state on their website), it also came with a note stating that my bead theme was created by Baby Ashton -- the note signed in many colors of crayon by Baby Ashton in person.

Now, you're not going to believe me if I say they're perfect, so let me mention a few drawbacks to all of this. The clip's cord is really long, and somewhat heavy. Even if I clip it as high on my clothes as possible, like on the collar of my shirt, it's easy for it to fall onto a dusty tabletop, or drag on the floor if I'm crawling, and its weight tends to pull one side of the pacifier down, because the cord could only be attached on one side or the other. However, I was able to get around both of these problems by looping the extra length of the cord behind my neck. The clip, when attached to my shirt collar, sticks upward and can poke me, but if I clip it at an angle that isn't a problem anymore. And those are the only drawbacks here -- amid all the positives, they seem insignificant. I have had no problems with the pacifier itself at all, and I like the clip enough that these minor problems don't really matter.

Their personal touch and the sense that they just "get it" makes ordering from pacifiersrus.com a pleasure and receiving your order a special experience. I highly recommend them.

Ordered from ABUniverse

I recently ordered from ABUniverse and am only semi-satisfied. I ordered their "boy theme" and "girl theme" bibs -- I think the "girl theme" one is very cute as pictured on their web site. But that's not what I got. As you can see in the picture I took, the "boy theme" bib (the green one) looks just like the one on the ABU website, but I'm not sure what the other one I received is supposed to be. It's just the "boy theme" bib with a purple background instead of green. Both bibs are just Little Tykes toddler bibs that I could have gotten from a store. And neither one is that cute white one with the flowers and butterflies and sunshine that ABU has pictured on their site. 8:-( I want my bib. I've emailed them. (The dark shape in the lower right of the photograph is my knee -- sorry.)

On the other hand, their Extra Thick Overnight Diapers are just as they appear on the website. They are cute, and nice and thick, and they smell nice too (I got the scented version) -- oddly, the scent is more obvious when they're wet. They seem to leak very easily, however -- perhaps there is a problem with the elastic. So I don't use these for daily use, but only when I feel like looking cute when my diapers are visible. Here's a picture of one (sorry, it's a little blurry).

Songs of Childhood: Show Me

I'm kind of making a list of songs with lyrics about childhood that appeal to me -- celebrating childhood and the innocence and joy of it. The first one was on my LiveJournal page, and I'll probably eventually repost it here because you can only see it if you're on LJ and I friend you, but it was "You Never Know," by the Dave Matthews Band.

This time I'm inducting a song from the 80s into my "Songs of Childhood" hall of fame: it's "Show Me," by the Pretenders, from their "Learning to Crawl" album.

CHORUS:
Show me the meaning of the word	What word? We'll find out later.
Show me the meaning of the word
'Cause I've heard so much about it
They say, "Hey, you can't live without it"
Verse 1:
Welcome to the human race	Who is this song being sung to?
With its wars, disease and brutality	It's almost apologizing for how bad a job we've done taking care of this world.
You with your innocence and grace	I'm rather thinking it's being sung to a baby who's just been born.
Restore some pride and dignity
To a world in decline
Verse 2:
Welcome to a special place
In a heart of stone that's cold and gray	I love how it's still possible to make a special place in an often cold and hard world.
You with your angel face
Keep the despair at bay
Send it away, and
Chorus 2:
Show me the meaning of the word
Show me the meaning of the word
'Cause I've heard so much about it
I don't want to live without it
I don't want to live without it
Bridge:
Oh, I want love	Finally, this is the word: love.
I want love
I want love
Verse 3:
Welcome here from outer space	My favorite two lines of the song.
The Milky Way still in your eyes	A baby is a visitor to this world, in a way, an ambassador from somewhere else. What must they think of us?
You found yourself a hopeless case	The songwriter is gently making fun of herself.
One that's seeking perfection on earth	She calls herself foolish for seeking perfection in an imperfect world.
Some kind of rebirth, so	Perhaps we're all born perfect and lose that perfection with time. Deep message.
Chorus 3:
Show me the meaning of the word	The idea that a baby knows more about love than anybody else is also a deep message.
Show me the meaning of the word
'Cause I've heard so much about it
Don't make me live without it
Bridge 2:
Oh, love
I want love
I want
Love
I want love

More about musical diaper alarms

After hearing about these in the early 1990s (they probably went back to the 1960s or 1970s), I finally saw a musical diaper alarm in operation at an AB party. Seems somebody changed the birthday boy's diaper and slipped the diaper alarm in without his noticing, then next time he wet, little electronic music started to play, and he was very embarrassed, and everybody giggled.

And after that, I haven't seen one or seen anybody selling one for about 15 years. Occasionally I've seen somebody post a derisive article about how they're available in Japan or China, saying something like, "Oh that's a good idea, putting electricity in a baby's diaper," or, "Some lazy parents will do anything to avoid checking their babies' diapers." (Hello? This is probably a 1.5 volt DC cell at maximum, the kind that people put in their hearing aids, and what if it's a daycare center that has 30 babies in diapers?)

Well, a recent study has showed that using a musical diaper alarm can significantly help children with potty training. So there. Now if only I could find one to buy for myself ...

More Terminology: "Advanced Baby"

As you can probably guess from some of my recent terminology-based postings, I understand Kathi Stringer's desire to come up with a better terminology. The words we have to describe ourselves and our activities are woefully inadequate. We need better ones.

Kathi Stringer, who I seem to agree with on many points (but disagree with on others), has proposed the term "Advanced Baby" to replace "Adult Baby," and indeed, I've seen it used on some websites. But is it a good term?

The first question is whether there's anything wrong with the term "Adult Baby" in the first place. Stringer's argument is that at least for some, the use of the word "Adult" bothers them -- there's nothing adult in their baby play, especially considering the fact that "adult" has taken on the meaning of licentious or erotic in some contexts, such as adult films or adult bookstores. (This is probably because of laziness -- my guess is that these things started out as "adults-only" films and bookstores, and the name just got shortened with use.)

It's true that, for many ABs, when they're babies, they don't want to engage in adult sexual behavior. There are other times for such things, like when they're not expressing their AB side. Now, many ABs do combine adult sexual behavior with their AB side, so presumably they would not have a problem with the "Adult Baby" term. But we're talking about those who don't want any "Adult" in their AB.

Stringer's "Advanced Baby" article, like her "True Infantilism" article, which I have posted about recently, is a good introduction to ABs, conceptually speaking, but it doesn't really make a good case for why the term "Advanced Baby" is better than any other -- although it does explain why Stringer, and probably others, consider "Adult Baby" to be the wrong term for them. She shows us a panoply of other terms, such as "kidults," "rejuveniles," "adultolescents," and "peterpandemonium," but then ignores them all and attempts to coin her own term.

The article suffers from a few problems in its citations -- for one thing, even in the brief passages she quotes, it is obvious that the author uses the word "infantilism" in its original, dictionary sense, which I wrote about in the post before this one. They're not talking about regressive, possibly even therapeutic behavior -- they're talking about immaturity, and somewhat derisively and critically at that. What's more, she cites an article by Ian Shoales, who is not a real person -- he is a satirical character created by comedian and author Merle Kessler, who also portrays Rodney, the sidekick of Dr. Science, whose humorous skits put Duck's Breath Mystery Theater on the map for National Public Radio fans. At least she didn't cite Dr. Science. She does, however, cite herself, linking to her own article on "True Infantilism."

However, she does make many useful points that I agree with, most importantly (in my opinion) the fact that Internet resources for nonsexual ABs are nearly nonexistent, and they may be confused and even emotionally affected by the relatively large quantity of material available for sexual ABs. She's right. There does need to be more material for nonsexual ABs on the Internet. I feel strongly that nobody should feel as if the only way to express one's AB side is in a sexual way.

So Stringer makes some good points in her somewhat flawed essay, but she does not have a compelling argument for why "Advanced Baby" is a term that anyone should use. But is there any reason not to use it? I can think of one: the term "Adult Baby" distinguishes ABs from physical children in a way that "Advanced Baby" does not. Nearly every reputable AB website contains a disclaimer about how no real children are involved, and for a good reason; Western culture seems to see child molestors behind every door and under every bed. Anything that seems even conceptually similar falls under suspicion. And, not helping matters, there are some pedophiles who have masqueraded as ABs and gotten caught (and some that have not yet been caught as well, I'm certain). Most ABs therefore want to distance themselves as much as possible from giving any impression that they want to have anything to do with real children. Thus the term "Adult Baby" -- adult, meaning not physical children -- serves this purpose to some degree, where "Advanced Baby" does not.

Once again, we are left with no better terminology for Whatever It Is That We Do. Perhaps somebody will come up with something compelling that sweeps across the community and transforms how we think about ourselves in a positive and affirming way. But I don't think "Advanced Baby" is it.